The 1996 Chicago Bulls Are The Greatest Team Ever, No Ifs, And, Or Buts About It

First of all, let me just say that this blog was getting written regardless of the outcome of Game 7. Since the Warriors completed the biggest choke job in NBA history, it’s going to sound a lot less bitter and a lot more like adding insult to injury. It’s going to be a whole lot more fun.

Hey, Warriors, you’re a bunch of frauds. So you won a bunch of games against bums in December. Congrats. You didn’t get it done when it counted. Not only did you not come close to the Bulls’ mark, you didn’t even win the title. Don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that ring, and you ain’t got that ring.

To think that this Warriors team could beat the ’96 Bulls is absurd. The Bulls would have stuffed these clowns in a locker. I mean, look at it from a position perspective:

PG: This is the only spot the Warriors have the better player and that guy laid a massive egg in the Finals. Ron Harper would put Steph Curry in his back pocket. You thought Steph was a non-factor against the Cavs; he’d be a negative against the ’96 Bulls.

SG: The Warriors have a fine player in Klay Thompson but the Bulls have the best there was or ever will be. Thompson ain’t giving Jordan buckets but Jordan will be giving the Warriors plenty. Seriously, the Warriors couldn’t stop Russell Westbrook, LeBron James or Kyrie Irving from going off. Pencil Jordan in for 50 a night.

SF: Bulls have another Hall-of-Famer and the Warriors got Andre Iguodala or Harrison Barnes. Pencil Scottie Pippen in for 25, minimum.

PF: This one would be the most fun. Dennis Rodman would own so much real estate in Draymond Green’s pea brain that you might as well rename it Rodmanville. Hey Draymond, punch Rodman in the balls and let me know how well that works out for you. Plus, Rodman would really be one of the Bulls’ biggest weapons in this series. How many second chances did the Warriors get? You ain’t getting those against Rodman. The Worm had rebounding down to a science.

C: Oh, you have a big Australian center, Golden State? Cool, we do too…and ours played way better.

Bulls in 4 by 20 every night. No question.

As for LeBron and the Cavs, congrats. You got it done. You brought Cleveland its first sports title since Thomas Jefferson was in the White House and Richard Jefferson was a rookie. This was truly an impressive performance by LeBron and an impressive Finals win, bringing his impressive championship wins total to, uh, one. But hey, you got it done and are getting closer to .500 in the Finals. Jordan was 1.000, just saying. Congrats LeBron, this was a great step towards becoming the second-greatest of all time.

Twitter: @KSchroeder_312

E-mail: schroeder.giig@gmail.com