WWE TLC 2015 Review

Okay, honesty time. I didn’t put a lot of effort into this. The Hawks were on and they would take priority even if WWE hadn’t *The Rock voice* ABSOLUTELY SUCKED lately. But it has sucked lately, to the point where I’ve found myself thinking on Monday nights “What’s going on on Monday Night Football? Ravens and Browns? Great!” So, yeah, I haven’t seen a ton of Raw lately and then I looked at the card for this show and cared even less, and nobody else wanted to do the review, so this kind of just is what it is. To be totally honest, I’ve given WWE until the night after WrestleMania to get me invested in their product again, and if they don’t, I’m cancelling the Network and spending that money on NJPW World.

The New Day (Big E and Kofi Kingston w/ Xavier Woods) defeated The Lucha Dragons (Sin Cara y Kalisto) and The Usos (Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso) in a Triple Threat TLC Match to retain the WWE Tag Team Championship

This was a spotfest, but it was an okay one. Kalisto hit a Salida del Sol through a ladder. One of the Usos did a splash on Big E from the top rope to the outside.

Finish: Kalisto was climbing the ladder when Xavier finally realized the match was No-DQ. (Seriously, how did it take him this long? Why weren’t these guys using that advantage the whole match?) Xavier threw his trombone at Kalisto and kept him from climbing, then Kofi climbed up the ladder, took the belts and won the match.

★★★¼

Rusev (w/ Lana) defeated Ryback

I didn’t think this would be any good. It wasn’t.

Finish: Rusev made Ryback pass out to the Accolade.

★

Alberto Del Rio defeated Jack Swagger in a Chairs Match to retain the WWE United States Championship

Two goofballs smacked each other with furniture a lot. This wasn’t good, either.

Finish: Del Rio stomped Swagger onto a bunch of chairs.

★¼

The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, Erick Rowan and Braun Strowman) defeated Team ECW (Bubba Ray Dudley, Devon Dudley, Tommy Dreamer, Rhyno) in an Tag Team Elimination Tables Match

Pretty convincing win for the Wyatts. Bubba Ray and Devon hit the 3D through a table on Rowan to eliminate him, then the Wyatts eliminated Rhyno, Devon, Dreamer, and Bubba Ray in that order. Hopefully this means the Wyatts are done jobbing to people they have no business jobbing to.

★½

Dean Ambrose defeated Kevin Owens to win the WWE Intercontinental Championship

This was a great match. Go watch it. Great back-and-forth action, nothing over-the top, just great wrestling.

Finish: Ambrose reversed a Pop-Up Powerbomb, rolled Owens up, and pinned him.

★★★★½

Charlotte (w/ Ric Flair) defeated Paige to retain the WWE Divas Championship

I’ve given up attempting to figure out who the face is here and decided that I just don’t care. So, congratulations, WWE, you’ve gotten me to quit caring about Charlotte. Well done. This was just an okay match.

Finish: Paige hit the Ram-Paige and covered Charlotte, but Ric dragged Charlotte’s foot onto the rope. While Paige argued with the ref, Charlotte took the cover off the turnbuckle, then dropped Paige into it and pinned her.

★★

Sheamus defeated Roman Reigns in a TLC Match to retain the WWE World Heavyweight Championship

I couldn’t care less about either of these guys. I couldn’t have cared less about this match. The fans didn’t either, chanting “We want Cena / Cena sucks.” Later, they chanted “We want Rollins.” After that came a “Daniel Bryan” chant. Then it was “NXT.” Other than that, the fans were pretty quiet. Reigns and Sheamus beat each other up for a while, then took turns trying to retrieve the belt. The League of Nations interfered on Sheamus’ behalf.

Finish: Sheamus hit Reigns with a Brogue Kick and retrieved the belt.

-★½

After the match, Reigns beat up Sheamus and then Triple H. He tried to powerbomb Triple H through the Spanish announce table, but it didn’t break. At this point, I just started laughing. I AM THE TABLE. What do you want to bet they screw up this momentum for Reigns with a stupid promo on Raw? The fans that were left chanted “Thank you, Roman.”

Overall: I don’t know how anyone could have put this show together and thought it would be good. Watch Owens and Ambrose and skip the rest of it.

-★★

Twitter: @KSchroeder2325

E-mail: schroeder.giig@gmail.com