UA-59049186-1 Airing of Grievances 2016 - Good if it Goes

Airing of Grievances 2016

festivus

That magical time of year is upon us once again: the great holiday of Festivus. The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you’re gonna hear about it!

Jim Delany: Your conference stinks! You bring in Maryland and Rutgers in a TV cash grab, but can’t use some of that money to pay competent officials.

Teddy Greenstein: You make Skip Bayless look good. You are the biggest dope at a newspaper full of them. You either don’t bother to get the facts about an issue or disregard them altogether, then spew out some stupid nonsense and act like a self-important jabroni. You are well on your way to becoming the biggest clown Chicago has ever had in sports media.

Jay Mariotti: The current record-holder. You haven’t been even remotely relevant since you left Chicago and you think you can look down your nose at bloggers, or anyone for that matter. You’re lower than the dirt I scrape of the bottom of my shoes. And don’t hit women.

Mike Mulligan, The Score, and The Chicago Tribune Sports Section: “Report rumor as fact, have rumor refuted, continue banging that drum anyway” makes lousy content.

Dan Bernstein: Special mention for you. No idea why you’re still employed. By the way, Greenstein’s coming for your “biggest clown in Chicago” title. You gonna take that?

Julie DiCaro: Women can have horrible sports takes, too. Also, before you act superior to anyone else again, remember that you work at a station that employs Dan Bernstein.

Donald Trump: Obvious reasons.

Keith “KMarko” Markovich: Your tweet about Lamar Jackson’s tux at the Heisman ceremony was trash even by Twitter’s standards. And this headline: not even close.

Skip Bayless, Jason Whitlock, and Colin Cowherd: Your takes *The Rock voice* absolutely suck! But thanks for being on FS1, where they’re easier to ignore, as evidenced by your lack of ratings.

Mike Wilbon: You’re as bad as those idiots, except the show you’re on still gets ratings.

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Gar Forman and John Paxson: No idea why you’re still employed. This roster was fun for a little while, but then, of course, the wheels fell off. It’s almost as if basing your season on a couple well-past-their-prime stars isn’t a good idea. Who knew?

Jerry Reinsdorf: Why are you still employing Forman and Paxson?

Albert Breer: Harbaugh’s not going anywhere, you tool.

If I missed anyone, we’ll keep this going on Twitter with the hashtag #GIIGAiringOfGrievances.

Happy Festivus!

Twitter: @KSchroeder_312

E-mail: schroeder.giig@gmail.com

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