ESPN Suspends Grantland

Previous: “Worst Take“

INT: THE OFFICE OF ESPN PRESIDENT JOHN SKIPPER

John Skipper: Man, we’ve got to make more budget cuts. Things are awfully tight here. But what to cut?

*Turns on television*

What a great show! Now that’s what I call quality television! I wonder what Toolsard’s up to?

How about Jemoron Hill?

This is brilliant stuff! What a genius I am!

Better check up on our online content.

*opens browser, goes to Grantland.com*

Pfft. There’s no room for garbage like this at our company.

*calls secretary* We’re pulling the plug on Grantland.

THE END

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So yeah, ESPN is pulling the plug on Grantland, because reasons. These people have no idea what they’re doing and things at the network are only going to get worse as more people move away from regular cable/satellite. As for anyone that used to work for Grantland, after your contracts are up with ESPN, there’s a standing job offer for you here. You too, Bill Simmons. Especially you, Bill Simmons. The way The Worldwide Leader in Stupidity treated you sucked. They give complete imbeciles valuable time on television to say the dumbest thing they can think of and suspend you for producing quality content and having integrity and calling out Goodell? What kind of nonsense is that? We can’t offer you much in the way of compensation right now. (I’ve been here since day 1 and I’m not even getting paid yet.) But we can offer you the chance to be a part of something great. To help us take this website to the next level and show the morons at tWWL that there is a market out there for quality, clever content. Help us make Good great.

Twitter: @KSchroeder2325

E-mail: schroeder.giig@gmail.com