What’s Going On Beats Dead Horse

Bay Area writer misses point; it’s not Tim Kawakami for once

After the 49ers loss to the Bears in messy conditions, Mark Purdy of the Mercury News wrote this detailing why the 49ers should have kept Alex Smith instead of Colin Kaepernick. It’s a truly amazing pile of nonsense that must been seen in full to be truly appreciated, but here are a few highlights (lowlights?):

[Smith’s] team is contending for a playoff spot and faces the Raiders on Thursday night at Arrowhead Stadium. If the Chiefs win, they will be in the pole position to claim the AFC West title.

As for Kaepernick . . . whatever happened to him, anyway?

The 49ers’ idiot owner ran off one of the best coaches in football. That’s what happened to him.

Meanwhile, since Kaepernick became the undisputed No. 1 quarterback with the 49ers at the outset of the 2013 season, his record as a starter is 24-26 with one playoff appearance. And won’t be making another one this season.

Since the 49ers’ idiot owner ran off one of the best coaches in football, Kaepernick’s record is 2-14. Seeing a pattern here yet?

Kaepernick’s attention-grabbing social activism is not involved in this comparison and shouldn’t matter. But it’s true that if you want less off-field drama, Smith is also your guy.

He says “I’m not involving off-field actions in this comparison” then proceeds to do precisely that. Also, “attention-grabbing” is used with a pejorative tone here, but that is literally the exact point of social activism: to call attention to a problem. Way to know what words mean, guy who uses words for a living.

Clearly, a quarterback does not operate in a vacuum. He depends on teammates and coaches to help him create offense.

You don’t say.

Purdy continues for a bit and pats himself on the back for saying the 49ers should have kept Smith when they traded him, but continues to ignore the confounding variable here. As much as Andy Reid can be a doofus, he’s been consistently solid in developing players. Also, the Chiefs’ organization isn’t a complete mess. Kaepernick has operated under Carl from Aqua Teen Hungerforce and the guy who ran the Eagles into the ground when given total control of the team. Kaepernick played rather well under Jim Harbaugh and Harbaugh has developed good QBs everywhere he’s been, so there’s no reason to think that wouldn’t have continued had he stayed there.

Speaking of Harbaugh and NFL writers saying dumb things

Welcome to the 3rd annual NFL Writers Link Jim Harbaugh to Open NFL Jobs Because They Refuse to Believe He Legitimately Wants to be at Michigan Festival. One would think those writers would be tired of being wrong about this by now, but they apparently aren’t, so here we are. A CBS Sports article said there was a real chance Harbaugh would take the Rams’ job. Albert Breer, who definitely doesn’t have a vested interest in this as an Ohio State alum pounded that drum as well. Let’s do a quick rundown of why he’s not in a rush to leave Ann Arbor:

• Legitimately loves the University of Michigan.
• Has another child on the way.
• Bought his father a house right down the street from his, which is on the street Bo Schembechler used to live on.
• While taking the Michigan job wasn’t about money in the first place, he’s very well compensated as it is and if money becomes an issue, Stephen Ross has a whole bunch of it.
• Could have had any NFL job he wanted in 2014. Went to Michigan anyway.
• Has control of his roster at Michigan.
• Doesn’t have to answer to a knucklehead owner at Michigan.
• Yes, the NFL is a bigger deal than college football to most people. But this is Jim Harbaugh we’re talking about. There are not a great many ways beyond “is bipedal mammal” in which he fits into the category of “most people.”

If you remain unconvinced, here’s Harbaugh at Tuesday’s football banquet:

Harbaugh to the crowd at the Bust: “I’ll speak for me: I’m not leaving Michigan. Not even considering it.”

— Adam Schnepp (@aeschnepp) December 14, 2016

Harbaugh says talk of him leaving is coming from “enemies,” namely three coaches who he calls “jive turkeys”

— Adam Schnepp (@aeschnepp) December 14, 2016

Obviously he wouldn’t say “I’ve got one foot out the door” or anything at the banquet, but if there was even a chance, why say anything at all. Guys, we’re talking about Jim Harbaugh. His word matters to him, unlike a certain jive turkey.

But if he were to leave, Jason Whitlock has a plan

If Harbaugh leaves Michigan, smart move would be to bring Hoke back. #HisPlayers

— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) December 12, 2016

This is the latest contender for “worst tweet ever,” utterly moronic even by Whitlock’s standards, and this is a guy who once got fired from his own website before it even launched by a company that continues to employ Jemele Hill and Michael Wilbon. I get that fat Ball State guys have to stick together, but more than half of Team 138 will have not played for nor been recruited to Michigan by Hoke, so the whole “his players” thing doesn’t work. Furthermore, the only likely starters for next year on either side of the ball who saw significant action under Hoke were Mason Cole and Khalid Hill. Bryan Mone made a start and had nine tackles in his lone season under Hoke, Maurice Hurst, Jr. made three tackles in his. Beyond that, Hoke was fired for being incompetent at everything other than defensive line coaching, but the final nail in his coffin was putting Shane Morris back into the game against Minnesota after suffering a blow to the head. Since then, two Big Ten coaches have been fired for recklessness when it comes to player safety.

And get a hat that fits.

Fighting out of the blue corner…

Peppers asked what would happen if Jim Harbaugh fought Urban Meyer. Peppers: Harbaugh would win. 100 percent.

— Rachel Lenzi (@RLenziCMG) December 8, 2016

I’m with Peppers here. No doubt Harbaugh handles that jive turkey. The guy once wore one of his players’ blood on his face. That is not the type of guy you mess with.

Twitter: @KSchroeder_312

E-mail: schroeder.giig@gmail.com