Royal Rumblings

Usually the letter “R” twice stands for rest and relaxation, but tonight is far from that. Tonight it stands for Royal Rumble, the official kickstart for the road to Wrestlemania.

WWE has underwhelmed the last two efforts. On one of the biggest shows of the year, the company showed how out of touch they were with what the WWE Universe wanted.

In 2014, they selected an aging Batista due to his Hollywood ties and promotion of “Guardians of the Galaxy.” The crowd was frothing at the mouth for Daniel Bryan and his organic rise to prominence to be put on full display by winning that year’s Royal Rumble. Even Roman Reigns as part of The Shield at the time (along with Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins) was cheered more than the former member of Evolution. But it was not to be, and fans left with a sour taste in their mouths.

My, how a year changes things. Reigns went from underdog to the company’s new golden boy. Bryan was still lighting the world on fire, and fans believed he still had a legitimate chance to win it. It was once again not to be, as Reigns won after being part of the most anticlimactic final four in Rumble history. Big Show, Kane and Dean Ambrose were the other three. Once Reigns claimed the title shot at ‘Mania, the fans were having none of it and let the former football player know. Even the Rock raising Reigns’ arm could not help things. When The Rock can’t change things, something is gravely wrong.

Not that there’s anything wrong with supporting Reigns. He’s got the looks and the ability to put on entertaining matches (given the right opponent). He does falter on the microphone a bit. Less would definitely be more. But it’s certainly not Reigns’ fault the company is getting behind him. He’s doing his best to make the most of his opportunity. It’s just how forced his rise has been, mostly due to WWE management’s determined nature to put a square peg in a round hole.

This year’s Rumble has a unique twist to it. The winner will be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. That is a good thing and quite refreshing. For Reigns haters, it means he’s not necessarily penciled into the Wrestlemania title match just yet. And for his supporters, a win tonight would go a long way in establishing his main event credibility. He’d be the first back-to-back Rumble winner in eighteen years (Stone Cold Steve Austin was the only one to accomplish that), and he’d prove how worthy of the belt he is by retaining it- especially in the number one spot.

But at what cost does making Reigns look credible become a hindrance to the rest of the roster? The “one versus all” tagline to hype the main event takes away from the others who will take part in the match. Instead of focusing on only Reigns’ story, why not spread the wealth and give other superstars some of the spotlight? And no, tossing them on the end of a show in a massive brawl does not accomplish this. What about the days when stars would get video packages to get across their agendas, motivations and you know….themselves? If WWE spent a fraction as much of the time building up the rest of its roster instead of just a handful of stars, the product would improve tenfold.

Now for predictions.

Divas Championship: Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte ©

Lynch has come on strong in recent weeks, despite her random totem pole attire last week. Her character is showing growth, intelligence and aggression. She’s proving she’s not a pushover, and a threat to the title.
On the flip side, Charlotte is the female version of her father. Yes, she’s talented like he was, but does she have to be a female carbon copy of him, and include Ric in everything she does? The times where she’d win big matches and include him in the celebrations made sense. But to have him there week in and week out stunts her character’s evolution. We don’t need her to be the “dirtiest player in the game”. Let her be Charlotte, an athletic specimen with her own reasoning and motivations. (And please, can someone show her how to do a legitimate spear? Her current arm tackle spin version is atrocious.)

I see the two putting on a great match, maybe around ten minutes or so. Charlotte does not need the belt to continue to stay in the picture. By virtue of her bloodline and her abilities, she always has a prime spot with the company. Becky, on the other hand, could really use a boost from the belt. But on a show with so many titles on the line and Ric at ringside, Becky winning by DQ, makes sense even if I don’t like it.

Winner: Becky Lynch via DQ.

WWE Tag Team Championship: The Usos vs. The New Day ©

One of these teams is the tag team of the year. If you guessed it was the champions and the hottest tag team in WWE, you’d be wrong. Doesn’t make much sense, does it? The Usos spent most of 2015 split up due to injuries, but even when they are on screen they do not bring “it”. Whether in ring or on the mic, the duo have never reached that next level and plateaued a long while ago. But they push merchandise and have a solid following. Like Charlotte, having wrestling in your blood helps matters as the two are Rikishi’s sons- so here we are.

The New Day continue to impress on all levels every week. Whether it’s stealing the show on the mic or winning in the ring, New Day brings eyes to the screen and money to Vince McMahon’s wallet. RAW’s funeral for their trumpet, Francesca, is only a microcosm of what makes New Day rock.

I see no reason to stifle the champs, and they will retain once again.

Winner: The New Day

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Last Man Standing
Kevin Owens vs Dean Ambrose ©

WWE is intent on building a rivalry between Owens and Ambrose, and I am all for it. The two are on similar career arcs, have superb talent in ring and can command any crowd. Add on to it that the match is Last Man Standing, and fans are in for a real treat. Owens and Ambrose will put themselves through hell for the title and for the fans. The one thing hurting it is the time we live in. WWE’s insistence on no blood will limit it a bit, but I expect nothing less than a classic from these two- just as long as it’s not overly cheesy as Ambrose’s character has been known to be.
That means no duct tape, Dean. Seriously.

Owens’ initial reign was cut short, and a title switch could also elevate the feud. Plus, Ambrose chasing the belt would make a better story heading into Wrestlemania. As long as he doesn’t continuously steal it.

Winner: Kevin Owens

United States Championship: Kalisto vs Alberto Del Rio ©

Owens’ initial IC title run was cut short, but compared to Kalisto’s US Championship run- it was an eternity. The company had a nice moment a few weeks back when Kalisto used the momentum from TLC to upset Del Rio on his way to being their new Rey Mysterio. All was for naught when the very next night, Del Rio won the belt back.

The WWE has always had a thing for Del Rio, giving him opportunity after opportunity to get over, with little showing for it. He has the athletic ability to deliver five star matches, but the crowd simply does not react to him- similar to Sheamus. Having him retain here does nothing for him or the belt, but everything for Kalisto. I see the company hitting the reset button on Kalisto’s push.

Winner: Kalisto

Rumble kickoff: winning team is entered into Royal Rumble match

Damien Sandow/Darren Young vs The Dudley Boyz vs The Ascension vs Mark Henry/ Jack Swagger
I like this idea of giving the preshow match some importance. Sandow is likely just glad to be on the show at all. The Dudleyz are gatekeepers and wouldn’t add much to the Rumble itself outside of a 3D or two. The Ascension are a complete nonfactor whether in WWE or NXT.

That leaves the team of Swagger and Mark Henry. Swagger has been underutilized over the last year or so, and anything that gets him on screen and away from Alberto Del Rio is fine by me. Henry has never won the Rumble in his long tenure with WWE, and even a final four tease would be a fun nod to the talented veteran.

Winners: Swagger and Henry

The Royal Rumble Match: One vs All

We all know Reigns is entering number one. But the rest is completely unpredictable, and that’s the beauty of the match. What makes tonight’s battle royal even more special is the perfect storm of it being for the title with potential surprise debuts and returns on the horizon.

Seth Rollins, John Cena and Cesaro are all out due to injury- and no, I don’t see even the superhuman Cena surprising anyone tonight.

This opens up all sorts of possibilities of various combinations of wrestlers in the ring at any given time. The Wyatts will be a factor tonight. Big Show will have his usual group elimination spot, unless they decide to give a rub to a young star by tossing him out by himself. Braun Strowman, anyone? The New Day will likely pull double duty as well, and Kofi is known for his famous Rumble elimination-avoiding abilities.

Brock Lesnar will be a major factor in this match, especially after never actually losing his championship. HHH making a surprise appearance to help set up a match with Reigns at Mania is also likely. Debuts for AJ Styles and Finn Balor are rumored, and maybe Sami Zayn. Don’t forget about Undertaker.

The biggest question in regards to returns is Daniel Bryan. He has been cleared by multiple doctors following multiple injuries in 2015, and has shown progress in the gym. He’s not just sitting around sulking. The backstage drama with WWE in respect to his being held out of action seems legit, but could always be a long term swerve that would serve as the biggest surprise of the year.

I see Reigns being eliminated by HHH late in the match. With so much unpredictability, the safe bet tonight to come away with the belt is Brock Lesnar.

Winner: Brock Lesnar

 

Like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know @SeanNeutron

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